Goodboy Norman Featherstone

Friday, January 30, 2009

Not Cancer!

I won't waste any time beating around the bush with this one. Lyn called, and the Pathologist has concluded that my lump was NOT cancer of any type! It was some kind of infected wound of sorts, possibly a hair follicle that got clogged up or maybe a bug bite that became inflamed. Lyn told Woman the name of it, but she forgot and couldn't spell it anyway.

So, faithful friends, thanks for all your prayers and good thoughts. I am STILL cancer free after 2 1/2 years, and I intend to stay that way!!

I was concerned that this good news would stop my nightly visits from the ice cream fairy, but Woman assures me I have another week of cold sugary sweetness to look forward to. Hooray!!

We're leaving in the morning to go to Camp ChiChi!! I'm so excited I could just tear Hootie apart! I won't though, because I love Hootie. Maybe another toy. Where's that puppy thing I don't much care for ...

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Dog Car Restraint

Hey Blogger peoples! Woman is wondering if anyone out there uses a "restraint" for their Pug in the car. She's looking for something that will keep me in one spot so I don't mess up the seats or slobber all over the windows. I have been riding in a cage, but I hate it, so we're looking at other options. We're leaving Saturday, so please give us your suggestions quickly!!

"Pug"lic Service Announcement

Attention all you Pugs who have been given "Frosty Paws" "ice cream" treats. These things are not REAL ice cream! Trust me - they don't taste anything like real ice cream! Woman took some advice from the comments in my blog and bought me some Frosty Paws for hiding my pills, but I wouldn't eat those gross things! I wanted REAL ice cream, so Woman had to keep putting real ice cream in with the Frosty Paw to get me to eat it. In the end, I think I got more ice cream than I would have if she hadn't tried to make me eat those gross dog ice cream cups.

So, if you've been eating these Frosty Paws, you need to go on strike until your people give you the REAL thing!!

Also, Woman says, "Holy Cow! It costs $3 for four little cups of this stuff! Real ice cream is cheaper!"

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Gross Pills Defiling Good Eats

I'm back, and I'm feeling just fine, blogger friends. Thank you all for your nice comments and well wishes. My front left leg feels a little weird (kind of like the skin is stretched too tight), and I think I'm missing more teeth than I should be missing, but other than that, I'm functioning at full throttle!

Woman tried to ruin pears for me last night by putting some kind of disgusting tasting powder on them. Yuck! She claimed I have to eat this gross powder so I don't get an infection in my mouth. Something about an-ti-bi-o-tics or whatnot. I'm not "anti" biotics, so I don't think I should have to take these. Heck, I don't even know what a "biotic" is! She then took a taste of the gross powder just to see what she's dealing with, and she gagged and coughed and couldn't get the gross taste out of HER mouth all night! LOL!

Next, she tried to hide the powder in peanut butter, but that didn't work. I'm not a big peanut butter fan as it turns out.

Finally, she resorted to the dirtiest trick in the book - the trick that no one can resist. Ice Cream! She put the powder in ice cream, and of course I had to eat it. I tried to hold back at first, but in the end I snarfled that ice cream down like it was the first time I had ever eaten ice cream. Come to think of it, it WAS the first time! There are 14 of these gross pills I have to eat, and I am looking forward to 13 more days of ice cream! Woot!!!

BTW, Woman KNOWS ice cream is bad for me, but she figures me not taking the pills is worse for me than ice cream. If you have any other foods that would be yummy for me to try, let me know!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


Norman is home safe and sound resting. He is very tired from his pain meds, so he won't be blogging today. He had a rough night last night, limping around the house in a doped up haze. Poor little Pugger. He was back to his rambunctious self this morning until I drugged him again. He has just two days of pain meds, so he should be back to blogging sometime this week.

Here he is snuggling his Hootie. He missed his Hootie while he was at the Vet.

snuggling hootie

The next photo is a little graphic, so if you don't like things like stitches, don't look.





I wanted to share this photo with you just to show off Lyn's mad surgical skills. Check out that beautiful needlework. The skin is pulled really tightly right now, because there isn't a whole lot of skin on a Pug's leg, and removing the mass didn't leave a lot to work with, but Lyn did an amazing job not only getting the wound sewn together, but sewing it up with such amazing skill.


Thanks Lyn!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Back at the Vet

Norman had to go back to the Vet this morning to have his lump removed. The pathologist was unable to tell from the needle aspiration whether the lump is cancerous, so Lyn wanted to re-poke him to get another sample. I felt it was best to just remove the lump altogether and be done with it. I know from experience that this is really the only way to be 100% sure. The pathologist can determine conclusively if the mass is cancerous if we send the whole thing.

Here is a photo of his latest lump - you can see it there below his carpal bad. It has grown a lot since last week, when it was kind of nondescript. It is certainly well defined now. You can't tell from the photo, but it's dark in color, covered in fur and sort of scaly. It is really hard and mobile, and does not seem to be causing him any discomfort. Due to its location though, it gets bumped a lot, which may be causing it to get bigger. His last three MCT's were very small and bright pink - they were about the size of a pencil eraser. Due to their small size and location, the Vet was able to achieve 2cm margins all around, but this one is too big and in a bad location, so Lyn will not be able to get such liberal margins. I really hope this isn't MCT again.

new lump on Norman's leg

I didn't think it was a MCT when I first saw it, but you never know with those blasted things. They can really look like anything. The fact that it is growing quickly is rather alarming, and it's in a weird place to be a callous, like I originally thought it was.

I am always nervous when Norman has to go under anesthesia, so please be thinking about him today. I'm sorry to make a post like this, as I don't want anyone to worry about Norman, but it helps me to know you all are thinking about him.

He also needs to have his teeth cleaned and one of his whittle toofies removed, so this is a good time for surgery. On the other hand, we will be out of town next week, and Norman will be staying Camp Chi-Chi's for the week, so maybe it isn't the *best* time for him to have stitches, but he's tough and will manage!

I'll let you all know when Lyn calls me after his surgery. Poor Shmoopy ...

UPDATE 10:15am

Lyn called and said Norman is going into surgery. She is going to remove the lump then do his teeth. She said she'd call in between procedures. She's so sweet ...

UPDATE 11:04am

It's really awesome to have a friend who is a Vet, and especially such a good friend as Lyn. She just called and told me that he is doing great through his surgery. She excised the mass, and checked under the microscope and still doesn't see any cancer cells. She thinks it could be some sort of fungal infection (like maybe ringworm) or just a clogged follicle, but regardless, she agrees that it is a weird lump! She let me hear his heart monitor beeping and listen to him breathe over the phone. Isn't that just so sweet? They're doing his teeth cleaning now. He'll be drugged for the rest of the day, so that should be fun! LOL! I'll try to keep him from calling any of you, because we know how raunchy "drunk dialing" can get!!

UPDATE 11:49am

Norman has to lose more toofies than we thought. Poor little bugger. He has to have five pulled across the bottom and one on the top. Lyn said they are loose, and if he has periodontal disease that it will spread to other teeth, and he will lose those too, so it's best to pull them now. Poor Norman! I feel so awful about him losing his teefies. I hope it doesn't bother him. Lyn said he doesn't use those teeth to eat - they're just there for ripping meat up in the wild. And since we don't make him rip meat apart, he won't notice. I still feel guilty though. I should have taken better care of his teeth. Bad owner.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

New Rug

Here's a sneak peak at our redecorating efforts. It's me on our new rug! (Same Pug by the way, although I am getting kind of fat, so I guess I'm getting redecorated too!)

norman on the new rug

I rather like the new rug. Don't I just blend right in with it? Now don't get me wrong - I don't like it that much. I mean, I have pooped on it already. Woman was so mad! She had to get up early on Thursday to go to the eye doctor, and while she was showering, I laid down some turds. Yes, she did let me outside before she got into the shower, but I really don't like change, and showering early in the morning is not routine around here!

We're still waiting for our new couch to arrive, but don't worry - I'll post pics when it does!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Not a Tumor

Woman here ...

Mr. Shnookle (that's one of Norman's names) had to go to the Vet today to have a suspicious lump checked out. Our friend Lyn, who is a Vet, picked him up this morning and took him away. It's always sad for me to be without him in the house all day. I keep looking for him and talking to him and expecting to trip over him. It's weird to pee alone. Yes, I meant to type "pee" there. Norman doesn't let me use the bathroom by myself.

Lyn called this morning and said the lump does not appear to have mast cells in it, but with his history of mast cell tumors, she is going to send it to the pathologist. It's most likely just a fatty little growth, but we want to be sure. So, keep your paws crossed, and if you've got fingers, cross those too!

In other news, Ian has been nominated for a Threadless Bestee award again this year! Go to this link to vote. His design is "I Wish I Were." There's $20k at stake here, so your vote would be much appreciated!

Monday, January 19, 2009

"Too Cool for Words" Results

I have to say I'm a little disappointed with the participation in this contest. Either you all don't know how silly you "used" to look, or you still look silly and don't know it, or maybe you still look silly and you do know it, and you're embarrassed about it. In which case, good for you. You should be embarrassed. LOL! I was hoping to get some Farrah Fawcett style photos with maybe some leg warmers or possibly tie dye and bell bottoms. You people need to dig into the photo drawer a little deeper! (What kind of name is Farrah any way??)

So here are the contestants, posted in the order in which they entered:

#1 - Eduardo's Mommy Person, complete with troll dolls. Way cool!! She's living La Vida Loca for sure!

#2 - Jemima's Jones' Mommy and Daddy Person during their senior year in high school. I'm loving the jackets!!

#3 - Pug(s) and Buggs' Woman in her awesome blue jean bibbies and kickin' yellow nail polish! Turn up that New Kids on the Block!!

#4 - Swampgirl's most excellent poodle perm and sweater vest. I can faintly smell Exclamation! perfume every time I look at this photo!

Let's give each one of our contestants a big round of applause! Excellent entries every one!!

But of course, there can be just one winner. And since Woman has a special place in her heart for the awkwardness of junior high ...

... the WINNER is ... Pug(s) and Buggs' Woman!!

Way to go! You were too cool for words, and you knew it! Heck, you still are!! As your prize, you get to hold the next photo contest!!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Contest - "Too Cool for Words"

Hello Blogger friends! While digging through old photos trying to find one of Shotzie, Woman came upon her high school albums. Oh my! Inspired by these photos, I decided to hold a contest to find out who was the coolest of the cool back in their day.

So, I challenge you to dig through your old photos and find the one that best exemplifies you being "too cool for words." These have to be serious photos, no Halloween costumes or silly dress up photos - you have to have really thought your were "all that" at the time, and it must now embarrass the living pug out of you!! Leave a comment on this entry letting me know when you have posted your cool photo. The title of the post should be, "Too Cool for Words." You have until Monday 9am EST to post. Then the judging will begin!!

Wanna see Woman's photo - the photo against which all of your photos will be judged?

Brace yourself.



Behold the glory that is Woman in the 10th grade on her way to the Homecoming dance!!


Sit back, and really take that get up in. Savor it. Let the hot pink suit really stimulate the senses. Don't miss out on those matching silver shoes! Does anyone miss giant shoulder pads? How about that hair? Can you tell Woman used Sun-In on it? I think her hometown suffered a hairspray shortage that year, mostly due to Woman and her Mom.

Now switch your focus to the mirror in the photo and get a load of her date's haircut. Pretty snazzy, eh? All those lines - quite geometric. We should bring that look back. I'd be one bad mo-fo with a cut like that!!

So, there's your challenge. I wanna see some cool photos!!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Shotzie Dog

Pictured below are two dogs. One is real, the other is not so real. The one on the left is Woman's first dog ever, Shotzie. The one on the right is one of Woman's most favorite toys ever, a Fluppy Dog named Muffin. (Woman had no idea until now that there was a Fluppy Dog cartoon. She feels a little cheated out of some childhood fun. Perhaps it can be found on Netflix.)


So, back to Shotzie dog. As you can tell from this photo, Shotzie was rather rotund, possibly so much so that you missed the fact that she was a Miniature Schnauzer. Regardless of her appearance, Shotzie was a Miniature Schnauzer. She was overweight and grumpy, but fiercely loyal, and Woman claims that she was a good friend. (The step-dad was a long haul truck driver, and Shotzie grew up "on the road," so she didn't get much socialization. This was probably a key factor in the development of her temperament.)

Woman didn't grow up with other kids, but Shotzie made a great childhood companion. Woman and Shotzie would play all sorts of games and go on walks through the blackberry field together. One time Shotzie came back from a solo romp in the blackberries without the Cleveland Browns sweater she was wearing when she left, and everyone teased her that she was having a fling with a groundhog! Either this was true, or Shotzie just hated the Cleveland Browns and found a useful opportunity to rid herself of that sweater.

Sadly, Shotzie passed over the rainbow bridge when she was only 8 years old, because the step-dad person fed her Oreos every morning and steak every night. While that sounds like the high life for a dog, congestive heart failure doesn't take long to set in when your diet is that rich in fats and your belly jiggles when you wiggle. RIP Shotzie. I'm sure we would not have been good friends, because Woman says you hated all other dogs, but I'm glad you kept my Woman company for me.

In case you're wondering what happened to Muffin, rest assured that she is safely stored in the attic with a couple other childhood items that Woman just couldn't part with.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Babie Coot

Frances Louis asked recently about a grayish blob in the corner of an old photo of Woman. I had to probe Woman to get some answers regarding said blob, and learned that it was one of her childhood dogs, Babie Coot. That's right. The dog's name was Babie Coot.

Behold ... the Coot.

tammy-with-baby-dog '96

First, this dog is obviously not a Pug, but rather a Miniature Schnauzer. As you can see, it has a snout - strike one. Also, it has a dumb name - strike two. The final blow comes by way of Woman holding this dog in a loving manner - strike three. Woman holds no dog but me! This Babie Coot thing has struck out! I don't really have much to worry about though since she's been over the rainbow bridge for many years now.

Here's a picture of the Babie Coot wearing a diaper. LOL! Also pictured is Woman's Poppy who passed away two years ago.

poppy with baby the dog

You are probably wondering how this dog earned such a strange name. Well, Woman tells me that her actual name was Sasha, but that her step-dad changed it to Babie, because she whined a lot when she was a puppy. And then Woman's nephew, Dalton, called Babie, "coot", trying to say "cute," but seeing as he was like 2 years old or something, his annunciation was not so great. Thus, Babie Coot was born...

Babie Coot was Woman's second Schnauzer, and she admits that she was not all that fond of her. Woman says Coot was really high-strung and not all that loyal or lovable. She also bit kids pretty regularly. Woman's first Schnauzer, Shotzie, was a much better dog. I'll try to dig up a photo of Shotzie to share with you.

Woman also had a cat at one time. Wanna see it?

Oh, Gag! Woman, how could you?? The cat's name was Stubby - she just had a nub of a tail. Pretty cruel name, eh? Hey - that's the same t-shirt from the first photo, but different hair color. I think Woman tends to hold onto clothes longer than she should.


That's Woman's Mom in case you're wondering, and the grey blob on the left side is Babie Coot, on the lap of the step-dad person who has been cut out of all photos for reasons beyond the scope of this blog. Aren't old photos fun??

Monday, January 12, 2009

A Change will do you Good

Much like Woman, I am not a big fan of change. That's why I am so annoyed that the People are redecorating the house right now! They're really turning everything upside down and just screwing things up. I'm getting used to the changes gradually, but only out of necessity.

First, they turned the living room completely around and got a new rug. I was not pleased with this one bit. I wouldn't go into the living room for the first night after these changes. I paced around the house huffing and puffing and didn't want to have anything to do with that room. I'm getting used to it now, and actually do like the new rug, but don't tell Woman.

Last night Woman painted a wall. I am not impressed. I can't actually see color, but I know I don't like it. Do you know how weird paint smells to a Pug? Pretty weird.

Now I hear we're getting a new couch. A new couch? Our couch is the BOMB! Woman says it's the STINK bomb, but I don't really get her point. We've only had it like nine years. What's wrong with it? I've finally got it all broken in the way I like it! Me and this new couch are going to have some problems.

I'll show you all some photos of the final product once the People have finished tearing things apart and totally ruining our house, and of course, after I have peed on everything.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

My Baby!

I'm sure you're all familiar with the old Bugs Bunny cartoon, "Apes of Wrath," where the stork mistakenly delivers Bugs to an ape family. The Mama ape just LOVES Bugs and calls him, "My Baby!" in a squeaky voice while the Daddy ape lurches about beating his chest at Bugs in anger. Well, that scene is a lot like our house on most days. It's quite hysterical, even without Bugs Bunny there to move the plot along, and dang do I look good in a baby bonnet.

So, since I am Woman's baby, she gives me things you would give a baby. For example, Woman's Mom crocheted her this blanket one year for Christmas.

tammy-with-crocheted-blanket '97

If you enlarge that photo, not only will you get a glimpse into Woman's childhood living room, but also see that on that Christmas day in 1997, it was -4 degrees with the wind chill factor. Yikes! Ohio is a cold hard place.

Guess who owns the handmade Mom blanket now? It's me!

norman naps on his blanket lump

I lay on it all day while I work. It's my baby blanket, because I'm Her Baby!! Ian is leaping around the room beating his chest right now. LOL! In case you're concerned about this blanket, don't be - I take very good care of it.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

It's Evolution, Baby

That's a line from Pearl Jam's "Do the Evolution" in case you care. Woman and I debated about the title of this post for a good while, and she won out in the end. It helps that her fingers do the typing. So, what does the title have to do with me you ask? Well, I think I'm evolving into a Shar Pei ...

Exhibit A - Check out those rolls.

Exhibit B - Giving that sissy pants Shar Pei a run for his money.

jazzy isn't having it

Jazzy looks a little disgusted by me in that photo, doesn't she? I think she may have misinterpreted my squinting eyes as a threat to eat her. She does look a lot like a chicken nugget, so really - can you blame me for taking a taste or two?

Alternative titles for this post:
  • Does this coat make me look fat?
  • I can has donut?
  • I would never eat you - without barbecue sauce.
  • Beefcake!
  • Kindly remove Sir Fatty from my royal presence.
  • I'm not fat, I'm big boned.
  • It's just my Winter coat, seriously.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Busy New Year's Eve

We sent 2008 out in a day slam-packed with fun and guests!

First, Jazzy came to our house to spend the night! Jazzy and I are learning to like each other. She is accepting the fact that I am top dog, and I am accepting the fact that Woman likes to kiss and snuggle her. It's ok, I guess. She is a very pretty girl. Even I can't resist those big brown eyes.

sweet jazzy

We still have the occasional tiff, but for the most part, we're cool.

norman and jazzy boy fighting

We like to sit around and look somber. We try to out-somber each other. I think I won.

norman and jazzy

I grow bored of that game pretty quickly and just go back to napping.

norman grows bored of jazzy

Jazzy, however, continues to stare intently out the window. All DAY and all NIGHT. She is hard core.

pretty jazzy face

The People left Jazzy and I to go to Baby Claire's first birthday party. That's right - a New Year's Eve birthday! She doesn't seem all that excited about it though.

claire on christmas eve

After the party, the People came home to take Jazzy and I to the Gammy's for New Year's Eve fondu. It's a tradition in our family. Jazzy threw up on the carpet three times, and Woman had to clean it up. Poor Jazzy. I don't have a photo of that, but there were carrots and some other bits in it. It was festive.

Uncle Michael was visiting from Florida, and since New Year's Eve is also his birthday, I let him have a photo made with me.

uncle michael and norman

Happy Birthday Uncle Michael!

After fondu, we went back home, and the People did some hot tubbing with friends. It was a good New Year's Eve! I didn't get any champagne, but Woman did give me some drops from the fondu dinner!

Friday, January 02, 2009

Certified Butt Kicker!

Woman received a lot of great gifts this Christmas, but her favorite one (aside from that really cool coffee mug from Ian) was her Body Pump Certification! That's right, on December 23rd she was notified that she passed her assessment, and now she's a full-fledged butt kicker!!

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Christmas Sweater

For the past three years, Woman has knitted Baby Sarah a sweater for Christmas. This year she decided to go where this Woman has not gone before and try her hand at cabling. Don't know what cabling is? Well, you're not alone. I have no idea either. Let's just look at the pictures and nod our heads like we understand what's going on. I'm not in any of these pictures, so prepare yourself for your first disappointment of 2009.

This year Woman made a sweater from the knitting book she got last year for christmas, Celtic Knits. Although she started on the sweater early, she was still scrambling on Christmas Eve to finish it up on time. Woman would like to warn you that there are some errors in this pattern, and for that she curses Debbie Bliss to a year of dropped stitches.

sweater knit by tammy for sarah

back of sweater knit by tammy for sarah

This is cabling. Woman said it's not as hard as it looks - you just have to be careful to pay close attention to the pattern and constantly check your work as you are progressing along the row.

close up of detail on side of sweater

Even the cuff has some cabling on it.

cuff of sweater

Sarah was surprisingly stoked about her sweater for a 3 year old. I guess she was all hopped up on Christmas dust!

sarah likes her new sweater made by tammy

As always, the sweater was too big. Sarah is 3, but knowing her sweaters are ALWAYS too big, Woman made the sweater according to the pattern for a 2 year old. Oh well Woman. Maybe she can wear it next year!

sarah in her sweater knitted by tammy

Woman will be starting on a sweater for herself in the coming days. She has never made a big girl sweater before and is pretty excited about it!