Goodboy Norman Featherstone

Monday, February 27, 2006

You're Just a Whittle Baby, Aren't You?

My first reaction to this question is, "Heck No, Woman. I'm not a whittle baby. I'm a full grown stud Pug on the prowl! See my wiggle - my twist - my forbidden dance!" However, on further inspection, I answer, "Yes, I'm your whittle baby." Why, you may ask? Have I gone soft, you may ask? Well, let me tell you ... Whittle babies are not accountable for their actions. Whittle babies can bark and chew things up and not get in trouble, because whittle babies don't know any better. When whittle babies pee on the wall, they are not spanked, but stud Pugs are. So there Mr. Ian! The whittle baby can do what he wants, because he doesn't know any better. Face!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Have you been Eating Poop?


Friday, February 17, 2006

What is Your Problem?!!?!?!

This is another question the Woman asks when she is at her wits end, which by the way, is not a long journey for her. Sometimes it's in response to my barking, sometimes in response to my butt chewing or any other host of chewing related activities. Basically, it is a rhetorical question that is meant to make me stop doing whatever it is that I'm doing, because I am actually causing her a problem, not having my own problem. There is therefore, no answer to this question, but I usually do continue the problematic behaviour for at least a couple more minutes.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006


This is the woman's response to my constant barking. As you might have guessed, she asks me this question a lot, because I bark at her a lot. The answer is always the same, "I'm evil!" I used to be able to make her cry by barking at her non-stop, but she has built up a resistance to it. I haven't made her cry in a while now that I come to think of it. I need to amp it up a bit.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Who Wants to Swing in the Swing?

It snowed this weekend, and the People wanted to go hiking to take some pictures of the pretty snow-covered landscape. During our hike, we came across a park with a swingset. The Woman decided that she was going to put me in one of the baby swings. The Mean One told her not to, because I would "freak out".
Puh-lease. When do I ever freak out? Anyway, the Woman doesn't really listen to the Mean One much, so she put me in the swing anyway. I was gonna freak out, but I thought it might be a good publicity stunt for my website. Here is some video of me swinging. Sure, I'm no skateboarding bulldog, but the swinging Pug is pretty cool. Grrrr baby, very grrrrr.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Who's my Whittle Shmoop Shmoop?

This is a question the crazy woman asks me every day around noon. Here I am basking in the sunlight of the office window, warm and groggy, when she kneels beside me, flips me on my back and starts rubbing my belly asking, "Who's my whittle shmoop shmoop." I am so subdued by the warmth of the sunlight and my afternoon nap that I just lay there and take it, even withstanding her kisses on what she calls my "soft whittle chin." I guess the answer to this question is, "I'm your whittle shmoop shmoop," but I have too much self-respect to say it.

I haven't had a theme month in a while, so this month's theme is, "Stupid Questions the Woman asks and the Pugs who Answer Her." I think you'll all be well entertained this month. ..