Goodboy Norman Featherstone

Monday, February 26, 2007

Woman in San Diego

The Woman is going to San Diego tomorrow, so wish me luck being alone with Ian. He is going to have to feed me all week. We'll see how that goes. Woman will be back on Friday thank goodness! I am so tired of California thinking it can just steal my Womam from me. Now I know how Ian feels about me. LOL. Well, I won't get to blog probably, because Ian doesn't let me use his computer. He says I lick too much when I type. I guess it is a nasty habit.

Have a great week everyone, and be thinking about the Woman while she is in San Diego. She hates to fly and is not a good traveler. She always has a stomach ache or belly ache or both. She's kind of soft like that.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Happy Mardi Gras!

OK, I'm late again for another holiday. First I miss Valentine's, then Mardi Gras. You are probably wondering when I will get my act together. Well, probably never. Sorry.

The People had a little Mardi Gras party on Tuesday night. I got to see some friends I haven't seen in a while. It was a good time. There were streamers, and I like streamers. Ian made gumbo, red beans and rice and olive tapenade. He also made hurricane drinks like they make in New Orleans. These were a big hit. I got no taste of anything. Woman did let me have a teeny little taste of moon pie today though. I am still a little ticked off that I got no gumbo.

Here I am with my moon pie. Don't worry - I didn't get to eat the whole thing. I think I tasted one moonpie molecule. It was a good molecule though, so I'm not complaining.

And here I am handsomely and heterosexually sporting my Mardi Gras beads.

I am still recovering from my surgery. I have razor burn "down there," and it's really itchy and burning. I want to scratch and bite down there, but Woman says I can't. It's really frustrating. I hope this razor burn stuff clears up soon, or I might turn rabid.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Feeling ... a Little Lighter

I am back from my successful surgery. I am not groggy AT ALL, and I barked the ENTIRE ride home just to let the People know that I feel just fine after the surgery. I know the Woman felt bad about getting me snipped, but it was the responsible thing to do. We have had enough problems with the mast cell tumors, and we don't need to worry about prostate cancer too!

In other news, I found out at the Vet's office that I get to be a Senior dog next year. I guess that would make me a Junior this year. I wonder if there is a Senior prom I will get to attend. Hmmm ... who will I take?

Friday, February 16, 2007

The Big Snip

The Woman has been very adamant that I not get the big snip (neutered), because she says she bought a boy dog and she's going to keep a boy dog. Every Vet we see tries to get her to get me snipped, because of the threat of prostate cancer, and no kennel will keep me unless I am neutered. The Woman has finally given in to all the pressure, and I'm getting the big snip on Monday morning. Yikes! Ian has already started calling me, "Mr. Nojangles." How rude. The Woman hopes my personality doesn't change too much, as she loves me how I am, but secretly she hopes I become a little more docile in the process.

I'm not really all that concerned about getting neutered. I guess I should be mad that I am being robbed of my essence, but I think I have matured beyond that argument. The Woman asked the Vet Tech about possible psychological repercussions, but she said she has never heard of any dog getting depressed over the loss of his essence.

Anyone have any comments on this subject? Any reason the Woman should reconsider? I'm going to go nap while you all think about it.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Valentine's Treat for My Blogger Friends

Hello Blogger Friend. I'm sorry I forgot Valentine's Day yesterday. I am a dude after all, so I'm sure you expected me to forget. I'll try to make it up to you today though.

I didn't get you a card, but I do have a little treat for you. Let me bring it closer.

Here are some Valentine's M&M's for you to enjoy!

There are pink ones, and red ones, and white ones. And they taste just like normal M&M's, but they're dressed up for the holidays! Let me shake some out of the bag for you.

Why are there none coming out of the bag? What the heck?!?!! This bag is empty!

Who's been eating all the M&M's? Woman, I'm looking in your direction!

I hope you all had a good Valentine's Day, with or without M&M's!!

Dogsitter Blues

Well, the People are looking for another dogsitter for me. They have to go to Orlando for ten days in March, and I can't go - big surprise. The Woman doesn't want to board me, because she thinks I will think she's never coming back and get weirded out. Our last dogsitter didn't work out so well, so we have to find another person, preferrably someone who likes me. How could anyone not like me? I'm soooo great! If you know a nice person in the Asheville area that will dogsit me for less than $30/night, please do tell.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Mozilla is the Suck

I just spent 30 minutes on a blog entry, and Mozilla crashed before I could publish it. Why Mozilla?!!?! Why???!?!!! I use Mozilla because I get a virus every time I open IE, and now Mozilla does this to me? I am hurt and confused. I need some time to recover from this pain... Why does Blogger not automatically save things when you have been composing them for 30 minutes? Why Blogger?!?!!! Why??!?!!

Friday, February 09, 2007

The Great Kitchen Flood

After God flooded the world, he promised Noah that he would never destroy the earth with a flood again. Comforting, I know, but he never promised anything about never flooding kitchens again, because that is what happened to our kitchen yesterday. The People put a load of clothes in the washer, and then went in to take a shower. This is common practice around our house, because the washing machine makes a screeching noise that the Woman cannot endure while working. When the Woman came out of the shower, she heard water running very, very fast. She looked into the kitchen and saw the sink overflowing with water, and she thought Ian had turned on the water for some reason and accidentally left it running. Beside herself with surprise, she started screaming, "AHHHHH! The kitchen is flooding! The kitchen is flooding! AHHHHH!" I'm not sure what she thought the screaming would accomplish, but that was her first inclination. Ian bolted out of the office, flipped on the garbage disposal and ran into the laundry room to stop the washing machine. The water finally stopped flooding into the kitchen.

The clean up was great fun since the people don't own a mop or a shop vac, and the water was icy cold. After they used up all the bath towels and saw that they still had a load of water on the floor, Ian went next door and borrowed a mop from the neighbor. They were able to get all the water mopped up finally.

The Woman asked why I didn't alert her that the kitchen was flooding. My only response is that it is not in my job description. She was not impressed. I bet I get a poor review this year.

Ian will also probably get a poor review this year, because the Woman suspects the clog in the pipes that caused the water to back up was from "someone" pouring grease down the kitchen sink. I won't name any names, but let's just say that the Woman doesn't cook around here ... Well, we'll give him a break though, because the grease that he poured down the drain probably came off the hamburger meat he was cooking for me.

We're glad the kitchen is dry, but we're still afraid to do any laundry today!

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Touring the Bathrooms of Lisbon

The Woman is from a small town in Ohio called Lisbon. It's a weird little town full of weird little people. The Woman lived there the first 19 years of her life, and she was enlightened when Ian and I pointed out the peculiarities of the town. In particular, Lisbonians have especially odd taste in bathroom decor. Although their decorating taste is also questionable throughout the rest of the rooms in their homes, their bathrooms are particularly strange. Let's examine what it means to own a bathroom in the town of Lisbon.

First, the bathrooms are all carpeted. I'm not talking about that low to the floor, indoor / outdoor kind of short carpet that would repel water. No, Lisbonians prefer thick, shag carpet that absorbs water and provides an ideal breeding place for germs and bacteria. I guess they like to sink their toes into the shagginess when they get out of the shower, but who can really determine their motives. Ian and I are used to tiled bathrooms, or at least vinyl flooring. These seem like much better choices for bathroom flooring since you can easily wipe up the inevitable water splashes and maintain a cleaner environment. Also, you cant' lock a Pug in a carpeted bathroom, because he will definitely ruin it!

Next comes the obsession with clothing their toilets. The seat, the lid, the tank, all clothed in plush toilet cozies. I didn't even know toilet cozies were a thing until I visited Lisbon. Are they worried that the toilets will get cold at night? Do they think toilets are self-conscious or modest and need to be covered for the sake of decency? Again, who can guess their motives? They are weird little people. It is ironic to me how silly the people of Lisbon thought the Woman was for knitting me a sweater. These people clothe their toilets, and they think it's weird to clothe a Pug?

Finally, let's talk about the decorations throughout the bathroom. Apparently, your bathroom must be wall papered in a shade of pink (yes, Lisbonians are wall paper fanatics). In order to be accepted into Lisbonian society, the towels and shower curtain must match, and you must have an abundance of fancy soaps (preferably butterfly or seashell shaped) scattered around the place. The soaps should be noticeably dusty so newcomers do not mistake them as usable, but can clearly see from the film of dust that the soaps have been there for 20 years, and by damn, they will be there another 20 years. (Sorry about that "by damn" comment, it's just how people in Lisbon talk.) It is also essential to decorate the walls lavishly. The preferred decoration of choice is the plastic "wicker-wanna-be" Home Interiors butterfly. Lisbonians seem to have a hidden stash of these butterflies that they give as gifts to newly married couples, because everyone in the town has these things on their bathroom walls. Another acceptable decoration is the glass and brass shelf adorned with knick-knacks of angels, seashells or possibly kittens. It is also common to find framed inspirational sayings, and framed pictures of glass and brass shelves adorned with knick-knacks. Yes, I actually saw this in a Lisbonian bathroom - a picture of a shelf with knick-knacks on it! I'm sure it was from Home Interiors since that seems to be the only catalog available to the town.

It is also apparent from the "datedness" of the decorations that redecorating the bathroom is never an option. You can continue to add to the splendor that is the bathroom with special finds purchased at yard sales (Home Interiors doesn't sell those lovely plastic butterflies any more, so the only hope is yard sales), but a complete redo is totally out of the question.

After visiting Lisbon, I feel a little self-conscious looking around our plain bathroom with its naked toilet, cold tiled floors and bare walls. Perhaps I need to have the People do some sprucing up in there, or at least get some pink wall paper. My only hope is that no one from Lisbon ever visits us, lest we become the laughing stock of the town.

If your bathroom resembles the Lisbonian bathroom in any way, please do not take offense to this post. Just know that I think you're kind of weird.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Peep Peep ...

I've been waking the Woman up in the middle of the night lately making a weird peeping noise. She says it's because I am cold, so she covers me up with "our" blanket, and I stop the peeping. (The Woman and I have a blanket that she uses by day and I use by night. She took it with her to Mobile so she could sleep with it at night and smell my Puggy smell. Gross. I like to roll in her clothes so I get her Woman smell on me. Even grosser, I'm sure.)

I never even noticed I was making a peeping noise. It's funny what we do in our sleep, eh? I can believe that I have been getting really cold at night though, because it has been very cold here lately. The People keep the furnace at 55 degrees at night to save on money, and that is just too cold for a chilly willy Pug like me! I'm glad I sleep right next to the Woman (on the floor in my own bed), because if she wasn't here to cover me up, I'd be a pugsicle.

No, I haven't made it ONTO the bed yet. I have made it INTO the bedroom though. Mr. Ian used to make me sleep in the hall when we lived in Mobile. That made me sad. When we moved to Asheville, I decided I didn't want to sleep in the hall any more, so I made a noise like a ghost all night until I got my way. He he he!

Monday, February 05, 2007

On Sale Now!

Mr. Ian recently won a competition over at Threadless, and one of his t-shirts is being printed. Check it out! No, he doesn't make money from the sale of the shirt. He was paid up-front for the design. Bummer they don't sell doggie clothes.

The Pug is in the House!

Sorry about my long absence. The Woman took her computer with her to Mobile and abandoned me here with some dude named Hans, and without a computer. The week was pretty much uneventful. I was soooooooo happy to see the Woman on Saturday night. I went insane for about half an hour and wouldn't stop barking. She was happy to see me too - that's why she came home a day early. She said she missed me. She says she won't leave me again for a while. I guess she has to go somewhere in March. Bah!