Goodboy Norman Featherstone

Monday, June 30, 2008

New "Dog" in the Family

Meet Doodle Bug - Whitola's new dog. Doodle Bug also happens to be Whitola's first dog of her very own. Do not be fooled by her seemingly sweet personality. This photo was taken after she had finished terrorizing me all night and had worn herself out.

doodle bug

This Doodle Bug creature may seem like a cute, non-threatening dog, but let me assure you that she is a lunatic. Look at how she tries to mount me like a horse...

norman and doodle bug

Also, she thinks the Gammy is "her" Gammy, when we all know that the Gammy belongs to me.

norman and doodle bug

Even after the thrashing I gave her in this photo, she continues to insist that the Gammy belongs to her. She is a slow learner.

norman and doodle bug

Doodle Bug also dishes out unsolicited and unwelcome kisses. Does Allison look pleased here? I think not.

allison and doodle bug

Whitola said Doodle has to wear a cat harness because she is so small, but I think she wears it because she is, in actuality, a cat. And we all know how distrusting I am of cats.

doodle bug

See??!!?! She also makes this weird noise when she tries to bark that sounds like the noise a cat would make when trying to impersonate a dog. I demand a DNA test!

norman and doodle bug

Woman gave Doodle Bug one of my older beds that I have not yet destroyed. Had I known she was giving it to Doodle Bug, I would have peed on it first. LOL! Maybe in the future Doodle and I can learn to be friends, but right now, she's just too bossy!! She is a Boss Hog Goblin.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Free Range Pug

Since I have been a puppy, the People have had to "lock me up" when they leave the house. They tried to let me roam the house once when I was younger, and I peed on the couch, thereby proving myself to be untrustworthy. When I was a puppy, I had to be locked up any time I was separated from the People, even if it was while they showered or ran to the car, because again, I peed on the couch when left to my own devices. When we lived in apartments in Mobile and Asheville, I was corralled in the kitchen with a baby gate. In the house we live in now, I get corralled in the hallway with a baby gate, but I also have access to the spare room. This room has a window, which is nice. In the other situations, I never had my own window, so these are luxury accommodations to me.

The People recently decided to test my seven-year-old trustability since they have not tested me in a good long while. I'm a pretty smart Pug, and I know not to pee on things, but I'm not all that trustworthy, as I have a pretty deep evil streak. Woman is happy to report that she has allowed me to roam the house on two separate occasions for no less than two hours each time, and I did not pee on anything! So now I am a free range Pug! Woo-hoo! It only took 7 years to house train me. I'm advanced you know.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

A Story about a Bee

I know some of my readers have low tolerance for insects and stories about insects, so if you are one of those people, you might want to skip this post. It involves a bee and Woman...

Woman and I were sitting out back on the porch one morning last week. She was enjoying her morning coffee, and I was sitting on her lap getting some butt scratches. She was sitting on one chair and had her legs propped up on another chair to give me better lap space. She had on her gardening sandals that have just one thick strap that extends across the foot, so when she sits with her feet propped up, there is a gap between the sole of the sandal and her foot.

So, we're sitting there listening to the birds chirping away when a gigantic bumble bee starts buzzing around us and lands on Woman's big toe. Woman didn't move, because she didn't want to get stung and figured it would fly off quickly, but it didn't. The bee decided to do some investigating and crawled into the space between the sole of her sandal and her foot. Woman was clenching her teeth and digging her nails into her leg to keep from freaking out, because the bee was tickling her, and it's really freaky to have a bee crawling around on your foot. She knew she couldn't move, or she might crush the bee and get stung, so she just had to sit there and take it. After about a minute, the bee finally crawled out of her shoe and flew off. A minute might not sound like a long time, but when you've got a bee crawling around on the bottom of your very ticklish foot, it seems like a lifetime! Once the bee was gone, we immediately jumped up and finished our morning routine inside, away from bees.

Woman loves bees because they pollinate the vegetable garden, and she likes to listen to the buzzing song they sing while collecting pollen, but now she swats at them when they threaten our morning time together. Hopefully neither one of us ends up stung!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Dubai - Put Down the Crack Pipe and Slowly Step Away

An insane architect in Dubai has designed plans to construct a skyscraper that "reconfigures" itself, much like a rubik's cube, on an hourly basis. Can you imagine trying to work in a building that suddenly gets the urge to change shape? This is crazy. These people need to lay off the drugs.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008


Woman said my last post was very boastful and probably made a lot of puggies jealous, so she's making me apologize. Sorry. You can come live with my People if you want. I bet your People don't embarrass you by making you publicly apologize on the Internets. My People are meanie butts. You wouldn't want to stay home with them all day anyway. They make me eat broccoli and pee outside, and they even make me get the mail every day. You Pugs who don't have to deal with this junk are lucky. Stupid Woman...

I <3 Mondays

Woman used to play a game called World of Warcraft, which technically makes her an ex-gamer. It was while playing this game that she learned <3 is the nerd symbol for a heart. It took her some time to figure this out, and ultimately, she had to ask someone. She couldn't understand what someone could possibly mean by "I less than three you". So maybe you just learned something from me.

So, I wanted to tell you this yesterday, but blogger was being a turd and would not let me post, but I want you all to know that I LOVE Mondays. I know human people do not like Mondays all that much, because it is the start of a work week, and all you human people would rather chill out and enjoy a long weekend than return to work, but I love Mondays BECAUSE it is the start of a work week and my People will be home for 5 days. You see, both my People work from home, so during the work week, I get to hang out with them almost 24/5. However, during the weekend, they often leave me home alone for long periods of time, and that is really lame.

So, Mondays, I know you don't hear this much, but I <3 you.

Friday, June 20, 2008

More Abuse from the Woman

I really appreciate all of your kind comments about me being sweeter than Jazzy. Woman still holds to her statement that Jazzy is a sweeter Pug though. She says the reason Jazzy is so much sweeter than me is because I bark at every noise I hear and everything I see or "think" I see. She says I am hyper and high strung and that it hurts when I launch from a sleeping position off her stomach straight into the air to throw a barking fit. Apparently, Jazzy does not do these things. Woman says I have control issues. Well, I guess I get these issues from her!

So Woman is still abusing me. She recently told me that when she was at Magic Kingdom, she saw a character in the parade that reminded her of me. Was it Prince Charming? No. Was is Goofy? No. It was a dwarf. This dwarf ...

magic kingdom parade

She says I'm a grump pot. I'm not sure what that means. A pot of grump? Me?

norman in the flower garden

I have no further comment on the matter.

For all you cat lovers, here is a photo of the neighbor cat who torments me.

sambuca on the sidewalk

Her name is Sambuca, and up until yesterday, Woman thought she was a boy cat. Maybe that's why Sambuca likes to use Woman's new perennial garden as a litter box! LOL!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Sweetenest Most Pug?

Woman is so fickle. She's always telling me I'm the sweetest little puggle bear in the whole wide world, but as soon as Jazzy steps paw in our house, all of the sudden Jazzy is the sweetenest most. Woman has no loyalty!

Is this the face of a sweet Pug?

sweet jazzy pug

Humph! I think not. Norman is not amused.

norman and jazzy

I gave in and tried to mimic Jazzy's sweet face, but Woman said it's about the attitude, not necessarily the look. I don't even know what that means, but it sounds disgusting.

norman and jazzy

I hope Jazzy stays away longer this time, because I am fed up with Woman talking about how great Jazzy is. I am greater than her. Trust me. I know these things. Stupid Jazzy stealing my attentions...

Monday, June 16, 2008

Itchy Buddy

Buddy has some sort of skin problem that causes him to scratch and lick himself a lot. Every day when Woman let us out to pee, this was the scene in the back yard.

buddy rolling in the grass

Poor Buddy. He does seem to be enjoying that roll in the grass though. Woman would catch Buddy rubbing against the walls and the door frame, and he would get in trouble for it. Ha! I LOVED it when Buddy was in trouble, because it meant I probably wasn't getting into trouble at that particular moment.
One time he got caught rubbing against the garden fence. You can imagine there was some trouble involved with that!

For the most part, Buddy saved his itching for the yard, which was OK, until it rained. Then Buddy was all wet and covered in grass.

buddy rolling in the grass

Woman tried to make him stay outside when he got all wet, but she couldn't resist his sweet boy face. Please. I could totally resist this face all day long. That Woman needs to work on her Buddy tolerance.

happy buddy

Buddy left last night, and it was none too soon. I am so sick of hearing - Norman, you need to be a good dog like Buddy. Gah! The way I see it, I'm a much smaller dog than Buddy, so my goodness level is proportionate for my size. See! I DON'T have to be as good a dog as Buddy! I just have to be as proportionately good a dog as Buddy for my size. And, I think I am. Woman might disagree though.

buddy and norman

So long Buddy! I know you'll miss me stealing the toy from you, but I'm sure I'll see you again soon.

Friday, June 13, 2008

World Naked Bike Ride

The World Naked Bike Ride is taking place in Asheville this weekend. Beware. The dongage is abundant. Too bad I can't ride a bike. Maybe Woman can ride a bike with me stashed in a basket on the handle bars. I don't think Woman has a bike either though. We really need to get a bike.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Another Weekend Alone for the Pug

The People left me alone for almost the entire day this past Saturday. Buddy got to stay outside, but Woman said it was too hot for me, so I had to stay in the house. I bet Buddy was having a good time outside chasing squirrels and rolling in the grass. I was so bored! You would be surprised at how few squirrels I get to chase in the house. I have a squirrel toy, but it doesn't seem to want to play chase very often. Woman did arrange for Kari to come over and let me go potty around lunch time, but she didn't even stay and play with me, but tossed me right back into the house as soon as I was finished lifting my leg. She claimed she had a baby shower she needed to get to, but I don't know. She looked like she was lying.

While I was stuck indoors staring at an unchaseable toy squirrel for many hours, the People had a good old time gallivanting around Yadkin Valley. I'm not exactly sure what gallivanting is, but I imagine it looks a lot like skipping. I can't recall ever having gallivanted myself, but I do have a short memory. The People said it was really hot that day, so the one good thing is that while they were sweating their butts off, I was chilling at home with the a/c.

So what's Yadkin Valley you ask? Maybe this will clue you in.

chardonnay grapes at laurel gray winery

Those are grapes. But, they're not the kind you pop into your mouth. They're the kind that turn into Chardonnay! It's wine on a vine people!

The People visited 5 wineries this past Saturday. They had tastings at 4 wineries and just lunch at the 5th. Yadkin Valley is about 2 hours from Asheville, and the wineries are all pretty close to each other. There isn't a lot of food in the area though, and if there is one thing the People want when they're out gallivanting on a hot day, it's good food. You would expect most of the wineries to have a cafe, but they don't. I think they're really missing out on some cash if you ask me.

The first stop was Buck Shoals. Woman said it was only 11am when they arrived and the place was just opening up. I guess not a lot of people chug wine at that time of day.

tasting room at buck shoals winery

Woman really liked their apple and honey meads. These items aren't listed for sale on their website for some reason though. They did not get to try the Viognier, which disappointed Ian a bit.

Here is a shot of the vineyard at Buck Shoals. There was no special tour, but the People took a short stroll around the grounds on their own.

vineyard view at buck shoals winery

The People visited Laurel Gray next. The establishment is named after the son and daughter of the proprietors. Their daughter's middle name is Laurel and their son's middle name is Gray.

tasting room at laurel gray winery

Laurel Gray had the most expensive wine, but it was Woman's favorite winery. They consider themselves a "boutique", and all their crops are tended manually and wines handcrafted. The wife part of the co-owners took the People for a little tour of the vineyard and shared some interesting facts about the land and the process of growing grapes and producing wine. Woman said it was fun, and she is envious of these people for getting to play in the dirt all day.

Here is a photo of some of the vines at Laurel Gray. These vines are about 7 years old.

vineyard at laurel gray winery

Here is the patio area where you can have lunch. I guess you have to bring your own though, because there is no food for sale there!

porch view of laurel gray winery

Woman liked their Chardonnay and their dessert wine, which they call Nectar because it is so sweet.

The next stop was Raffaldini, which was the most high-scale winery on the list. These people really put a lot of effort into making the tasting room and scenery look like an authentic Italian winery.

tasting room at raffaldini winery

Raffaldini had a small food selection, but it was very pricey and rather lacking in quality. They were trying to charge $10 for some cheddar cheese. It's sad that they don't offer good food or at least decently priced crappy food, because the patio area is gorgeous. The People would have liked to have lunched out on their patio, but they wanted some real food and kept rolling on to the next stop.

tables with a view at raffaldini winery

Here is a photo of the People on the patio in front of a lovely fountain.

ian and tammy at raffaldini winery

A view of the vineyard with mountains in the background.

vineyard view at raffaldini winery

The People had lunch at Elkin Creek winery, but they did not stay for a wine tasting, because time was running short. These wineries are only open until 6pm and the People wanted to visit as many as possible!

restaurant at elkin creek winery

Woman took this cool rooster photo at the winery. Chickens and roosters run loose here. If you have a chicken phobia, don't visit this winery.

rooster at elkin creek winery

The People said the food was really good. They both had paninis, but they can't remember exactly what was on them, and Woman feels like a fruitcake photographing food in restaurants, so there are no photos.

The last winery the People visited was Grassy Creek. There are no photos of this event though, because all the vines visible from the road were barren, and since there was a wedding reception setting up in front of the tasting room, there was no way to get a good photo of it.

The People are going back to Yadkin Valley on July 26th for the Herb Festival being held by 5 wineries. At the Herb Festival, each winery creates a dish seasoned with a particular herb and serves it with a glass of wine chosen to complement the dish. Each person receives a 4" potted herb from each winery. The cost is $20 per person. If anyone in the area wants to join the People, they would love to hang out - hint ... hint.

herb festival in yadkin valley

Speaking of People who live in North Carolina, like wine and just might like to attend Herb Festival, Woman received a package in the mail from Kristie. She was so excited to open it and find one of Kristie's sweet hand-made pixie sticks! Woman has planted the pixie stick with the mint, and it looks so cute. Gah. Did I just say that? I am getting old, and I think you nice people are rubbing off on me. I need to go watch some network tv to counteract all the niceness you people throw my way.

pixie stick from kristie

In other news, Jazzy is coming to stay with me again either today or tomorrow. This is pretty exciting. Here is a photo that shows what I think of all this excitement.

norman and jazzy

Buddy is still here too. I am hoping Jazzy and I can form an alliance against Buddy and give him a little what for. We might throw some how to in there just for fun.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008


Buddy is staying at our house all this week while Nate is on a business trip in Arizona. Woman runs on Tuesday mornings and leaves me at home with Ian (even though he is still sleeping). I get to roam the house freely, so it's ok with me, but what happened this morning was not ok with me. Do you know what happened this morning? You'll never believe what happened. Even after I tell you, you're going to think I'm lying. Ready? Woman took Buddy with her on her run and left me at home! Me - at home! Buddy - running! I can just imagine how much fun they had together - laughing it up, running, talking about how Buddy is so much more awesome than me. Buddy thinks he's so great just because he's a big dog and I'm a little "rabbit dog." This is so unfair. Woman is a traitor. I am plotting some serious shenanigans today. Serious.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Prohibition Party

The People like to throw one big party each year, usually around Memorial Day. Last year the People hosted a "Wine Tasting" party, and this year it was a "Prohibition Party." The Prohibition Party turned out great! Everyone came in costume and really put a lot of thought and effort into their outfits.

The Women were fawning all over me the whole night. It became embarrassing after a while, because they all have husbands.

lyn norman and kari

Since it was a Prohibition Party, all the booze was hidden in clever containers like vases and teapots. The vases each had different color flowers in them so you knew what booze was in what vase. To further hide the evidence of booze at the party, everyone drank from coffee cups so the coppers wouldn't know what they were really drinking. For music, Ian downloaded a bunch of 20's era tracks from the Internet. There were some cool tunes.

the guys at the bar

Ian made up cards instructing the reader where to find what type of booze and also telling the reader how to make some popular drinks from the 20's like - Horse's Neck, White Lady, The Bronx, Between the Sheets and a Monkey Gland. Most of them contained gin and some sort of fruit juice.

Some of the ladies dressed as flappers.

tammy lyn and kari

And the men dressed as various "characters" from the 20's.

the men posing

Nate, Katherine and Andy had their "20's Plantation Owners" look working for them.

andy katherine and nate

Can't you see Nate lounging on the front porch sipping some sweet tea while the workers pick the cotton?

slick nate

Kris was sporting a hip zoot suit.

kris and lyn

Bill did a great job on his gangster outfit.

bill and kari

And Ian looks to be up to no good in a suit like this!

tammy and ian in costume

The night got kind of rowdy as it grew later ...

Kari turned into a Betty Boop impersonator for some reason.

kari thrusting

Lyn decided to practice her supermodel skills.

lyn posing

Nate took a slap to the face.

andy nate and katherine

Ian and Andy had a show down.

ian and andy

And Kris ... Well, I think the head gear says more than words here.

animated kris

I was so tired after the party! I actually slept in the next day and didn't wake Woman until like 10am. I think I had what People refer to as a hang over. I'm not sure what that means though.

The People had quite a mess to clean up in the morning.

after the party

Woman also reported that the floor was sticky! LOL! It wasn't my fault this time!

The People are already brainstorming some ideas about the party theme for next year. I think we should do a Pug themed party, but they aren't really buying into it.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Animal Kingdom

The People really enjoyed their visit to Animal Kingdom. Woman was impressed with the level of detail of every artifact and structure in the park. She also said the wildlife reserve was very impressive.

The Tree of Life is the defining landmark of Animal Kingdom.

tree of life animal kingdom

Although you cannot get very close to the Tree of Life, you can still see the incredible detail of the carvings from a distance.

tree of life animal kingdom

Each of the "relics" at Animal Kingdom are one of a kind, created especially for the park. This totem pole appears to have been hand-carved. The details are amazing.

tammy posing with totem pole

The buildings in the Asia and Africa sections of the park have been created to look as authentic as possible. I've never been to either of those places, but these things look authentic to me!

animal kingdom building

The details really help build the "magic" that Disney so loves.

cool scene at animal kingdom

Woman was not supposed to climb on this relic, but how could she resist? That mouth section is just begging to be sat in.

tammy at animal kingdom

Woman wants to hook me up to this cart so I can take her for a ride!

cool scene at animal kingdom

This scene is so calm and serene. It's hard to believe there are people screaming on a roller coaster just 50 feet from this location.

cool scene at animal kingdom

This is one of the views people can enjoy while waiting in line for Expedition Everest. Woman said it was impressive how much effort they put into making the wait enjoyable. There were so many things to read and admire that she was kind of sad the wait was so short.

design elements of everest rollercoaster

Just like the rest of the park, the safari did not disappoint. There were a slew of animals in what appeared to be a very natural looking habitat. Among her favorites were these white rhinos, because their fat rolls remind her of pugs.

white rhino at animal kingdom

She also liked this freaky tree.

African Safari at Animal Kingdom

She wants to install a fountain like this in the backyard, but I doubt we can afford it - LOL!

artifacts at animal kingdom

Most of the characters are dressed in safari outfits.

ian and tammy with donald duck

Woman wonders what this gorilla thinks about all day as people goon at him. Does he think the people gooning at him are on display for him, or does he realize that he's the attraction?

gorilla at animal kingdom

A view of the wildlife reserve during the safari. The animals were just roaming free and could go wherever they wanted - except the dangerous animals like lions and hippos.

African Safari at Animal Kingdom

Monkeys used this bamboo scaffolding as a jungle gym!

cool scene at animal kingdom

Woman encourages you to get to Animal Kingdom as soon as it opens so you can get on the "big attraction" rides more quickly and to see the "opening show" with Mickey, Pluto, Goofy and Minnie. She does not recommend the "Dinosaur" ride for young kids, because it is really friggin' scary. She loved the Lion King show and said the Pocahontas show was fun too. Animal Kingdom closes earlier than Magic Kingdom or Epcot, so it is best to visit this park earlier in the day so you can enjoy all the sites and fun.