Shotzie Dog

Pictured below are two dogs. One is real, the other is not so real. The one on the left is Woman's first dog ever, Shotzie. The one on the right is one of Woman's most favorite toys ever, a Fluppy Dog named Muffin. (Woman had no idea until now that there was a Fluppy Dog cartoon. She feels a little cheated out of some childhood fun. Perhaps it can be found on Netflix.)



So, back to Shotzie dog. As you can tell from this photo, Shotzie was rather rotund, possibly so much so that you missed the fact that she was a Miniature Schnauzer. Regardless of her appearance, Shotzie was a Miniature Schnauzer. She was overweight and grumpy, but fiercely loyal, and Woman claims that she was a good friend. (The step-dad was a long haul truck driver, and Shotzie grew up "on the road," so she didn't get much socialization. This was probably a key factor in the development of her temperament.)

Woman didn't grow up with other kids, but Shotzie made a great childhood companion. Woman and Shotzie would play all sorts of games and go on walks through the blackberry field together. One time Shotzie came back from a solo romp in the blackberries without the Cleveland Browns sweater she was wearing when she left, and everyone teased her that she was having a fling with a groundhog! Either this was true, or Shotzie just hated the Cleveland Browns and found a useful opportunity to rid herself of that sweater.

Sadly, Shotzie passed over the rainbow bridge when she was only 8 years old, because the step-dad person fed her Oreos every morning and steak every night. While that sounds like the high life for a dog, congestive heart failure doesn't take long to set in when your diet is that rich in fats and your belly jiggles when you wiggle. RIP Shotzie. I'm sure we would not have been good friends, because Woman says you hated all other dogs, but I'm glad you kept my Woman company for me.

In case you're wondering what happened to Muffin, rest assured that she is safely stored in the attic with a couple other childhood items that Woman just couldn't part with.