Goodboy Norman Featherstone

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

A Better Dog

Woman has been telling me lately that I need to learn to be a better dog. I just can't comprehend what she is talking about. I have four furry legs, a curly tail, a nose with a good sense of smell, floppy ears, whiskers, I give wet sloppy kisses, and I have a loud doggy bark. How can I be a better dog? There is nothing more dog than what I am. I tried barking more often to assert my dogliness, but that just makes her yell at me more and tell me again to be a better dog. She even threatened to send me to Pug rescue when I pooped on the rug the other day. Dogs poop on rugs, right? I was just trying to be a better dog! I've been snoring extra loud lately, but that just gets me shushed and nudged with a foot. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong here, so if anyone has a clue, please fill me in. Otherwise, I'll end up at Pug rescue, which I have heard is a pretty cool place, but I'm getting too old to travel and would rather stay at home with Woman.

In other news, Ian has a new design up for voting at Threadless. Show him some love people. This is where my doggy treats come from.

A Scarecrow Learns to Fly - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

12 Comments:

  • At 9:03 AM, Blogger Pam said…

    Hey Norman! George the Siamese Cat here.... hmmmmmm, have you tried puking on the rug? My momma loves when we do that. She always screams with surprise.

     
  • At 9:05 AM, Blogger Goodboy Norman Featherstone said…

    I recently puked on the floor and then ate it. That's a proverb in the Bible, right? "As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly." That didn't work either though. She yelled at me more!

     
  • At 9:19 AM, Blogger AM said…

    Alfred emits "love gas" to try and be a better dog to us. Maybe you should give that a try?

     
  • At 10:41 AM, Blogger Lex said…

    Hmmm when Gus is being a 'better' dog he crawls over to me for lots of kisses until I am not mad anymore.. better be careful though. You might end up in puppy classes too!

    (I will take you Norman if she sends you to the rescue! lol)

     
  • At 11:43 AM, Blogger Page said…

    Norman, maybe The Woman should contact pug rescue...not to send you there but to get another pug that could maybe show you "the way". I think that is a splendid idea, no?

     
  • At 1:18 PM, Blogger Winston said…

    Hmmmm. Well Norman, I expected those type of idle threats from Ian, not the Woman. If you want to test whether she is bluffing then you can poop on the rug and then pee on it. I have never done that (keep in mind I was potty trained with a few weeks of my parents getting me). However, if she is not bluffing then you will surely get sent to pug rescue, but maybe I can talk my parents into getting you. Daddy thinks you're cool. My parents also agree with Page (above), they think you need additiona pug companionship. They also think you sound like the stereotypical pug.

    The Grand Duke

     
  • At 1:50 PM, Blogger Christine & Giggs said…

    Maybe you should chew on some stuff (shoes, furniture...) to help improve your dogliness. If she sends you to pug rescue, we'll adopt you Norman!

     
  • At 4:31 PM, Blogger Lucy said…

    Norman, she will never drop you off at Pug Rescue, that is ridiculous. You should threaten to drop her off at the Lost Dork Home - it's right next to the Lord of the Rings Center for the Impaired and around the corner from the Star Wars Intergalactic Refugee Camp.

     
  • At 9:05 PM, Blogger The Devil Dog said…

    Well, the next time your mom gets sick, don't stay with her and cuddle with her and she will realize very quickly how miserable life would be without you.

    Roxy

    I recommend eating anything you can reach, pens, pencils, erasers, brillo pads....

     
  • At 10:46 PM, Blogger Jemima Jones Beck said…

    Lets see - How about sneezing pug snot in your Womans Boss's face? I did that to Dad's boss a few weeks ago...it went over really well, and incited a lot of "better dog" talk!
    Love,
    Jemima Jones Beck

     
  • At 10:20 AM, Blogger Paula @ Pug Hugs said…

    Norman,

    Don't you worry. You are not going anywhere. If you weren't exaclty the pug you are, your Woman would be beside herself. We got them wrapped right around our little paws.

    Bandit

     
  • At 9:52 PM, Blogger Pug Mommy said…

    Norman, although I don't think the woman is serious, I do think you should try and behave... at least for a little while. Just cut the woman a little slack so she forgets how bad you have been.

     

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