Locked Out

It's no big secret that I pee on the floor when the People leave me. Yes, I do this out of spite, and I have to say that I'm pretty impressed with my ability to push their buttons. Before we moved to Asheville, I did not pee on the floor when they left me, because they left me every day to go to work. However, now that we live in Asheville, both of the People work from home, and I am rarely without them. When they do leave me, I get really ticked off, and I want them to know it.

So anyway, the People have done everything to get me to stop peeing on the floor, because I always pee in the same spot, and it's starting to ruin their new hardwood floors. They have tried laying down newspaper, but I move it aside and pee. The Woman even tried taping the newspaper to the floor, and I tore the tape off to get to the floor. They punish me and try to bribe me into being good, but nevertheless, I continue to get my revenge by peeing on their beautiful floor. The second to last time I peed on the floor, the Woman told me if I did it one more time, she was going to have to lock me on the porch when they leave. I didn't believe her, because she is always reluctant to lock me out there. I can't take hot days, and there is a opossum that hangs out around the house, and the Woman is afraid it will bite me. Well, I did pee on the floor again after that, and she lived up to her word. She actually locks me out now when they leave! What is the world coming to? Doesn't she realize that she is the problem? If she would either stay at the house or take me with her, I would stop peeing on the floor. I'm not sure how I am going to teach her this lesson, but I'll think of something.