Goodboy Norman Featherstone

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Look Into My Eyes ...

This is how I hypnotize people. See this look? It's cute, eh? You're having trouble breaking free from my hypnotizing gaze, aren't you? Are you getting the message I am sending? Give me Greenies!!!! OK, it might be more effective if I didn't have that eye booger, but I think you get the point.

Unfortunately, this message has not been working on the Woman lately. You see, I do not care for conventional dog chew treats. I am indifferent towards rawhides, don't like pig ears or cow hooves, wouldn't touch a lot of those other cow parts they try to get me to gnaw on, but I LOVE Greenies. The Woman was so excited to see me eat my first Greenie, because it's the only chew treat I have ever taken a liking to. Finally, a treat to keep me quiet! Most dogs get treats to reward good behaviour, but I get treats to prevent bad behaviour. I'm a different kind of dog. And they are advertised as being good for dogs, so the Woman was even more happy to see me eat them!

You can imagine how surprised I was when the Woman recently decided that I am not allowed to have Greenies any more! She has many reasons for this, but I think they're all a load of bull stick. She says they are not digestable, and a number of dogs have died from clogs in their intestines caused by the Greenies getting lodged there. She also claims they are made mostly of cellulose, and I can't have any type of ~lose, because it is sugar, and sugar feeds cancer. I am very very mad at the cancer now. Up until this point, I have been ok with the cancer, because it gets me lots of attention and a new diet of real turkey, but this is a turning point for me. I want to keep my new diet, but I want the Greenies too. I need to work on this hypnotism thing a little more. Maybe I can get my Greenies back.


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