Goodboy Norman Featherstone

Friday, September 07, 2007

The Bowels of Earth

Did you all know that the Earth is a giant living monster, and if you venture deep below the surface, you will see gross bowels and intestines and guts and stuff? The People went to Linville Caverns a couple weeks ago and brought me back some pictures of the bowels of Earth. I was pretty grossed out, so if you have a weak stomach, you should stop here. I'm glad they left me behind for this trip, because I would not have enjoyed this one.

I don't really know a lot about the Earth's anatomy or the names of her internal organs, but this looks like a gross gooey membrane of some sort. It's probably used to digest Pugs and other cute little animals.

linville caverns

This is the Earth's baleen. She uses it just like whales do - to filter feed on little organisms. Eek!

linville caverns

I think this is part of the Earth's brain. She must have little brains all over the place, because this one certainly can't be big enough to control her entire body.

linville caverns

This is how I know the Earth is a woman. She has lots of fallopian tubes and a giant uterus!

linville caverns

Gross! Earth colon!

linville caverns

Earth acne!

Ilinville caverns

I don't know how the People can smile when they are surrounded by all the grossness of the Earth's organs.

ian and tammy at linville caverns

I hope this was educational for all you people out there and that you learned an important lesson - stay out of caves, lest you be digested by the greedy Earth! She's hungry people! Stay away! Sure, the People escaped unscathed, but they were lucky. You might not be so lucky!


  • At 8:54 AM, Blogger Oscar said…

    Gross! I never want to go to the caverns. I heard they eat little pugs and store their souls. Once they've got enough pug souls they plan to use them to summon all the live pugs for evil...somebody told me this and after seeing your pictures I know it has to be true!

  • At 10:12 AM, Blogger Christine & Giggs said…

    You should inform the Discovery Channel of your findings!

  • At 10:29 AM, Blogger Pugsley, Buster, Cricket & Daisy said…

    Glad to hear your pawents weren't swallowed by the bowels of the earth. A scary place indeed.

  • At 12:31 PM, Blogger Duke & Gidget said…

    Yuk! That sure was gross! Looking at those pictures darn near ruined our breakfast. Oh wait, nothing could ruin our breakfast. We're pugs after all!

    ~Pug Hugs~
    Duke & Gidget

  • At 1:39 PM, Blogger LMizzle said…

    I've never seen anything like that before! Whoa!

  • At 3:39 PM, Blogger Page said…

    OMG, I never thought of it that way...but it does, it does! It looks like innerds (what? I'm from the south!)

  • At 4:10 PM, Blogger Tami said…

    I’m glad you showed me the photos because I will never venture there although it looks beautiful. This reminds me of our trip to Mammoth Cave. A person should not go in caves if they are claustrophobic! I don’t need the experience twice … and they turned off all the lights for a minute just so we could see what “total darkness” was like. Nope, I did not need that either.

  • At 5:06 PM, Blogger Pug Mommy said…

    Neat caves -- where did you guys go? We have great cave systems here -- Mammoth Cave is just 30 minutes away!

  • At 8:24 PM, Blogger Jemima Jones Beck said…

    Hey there Norman,
    I think that the earths bowels are pretty darn icky - but it was brave of your people to go and see them!
    Jemima Jones Beck
    ps i have been reading you for a long old time now, and just realized that i don't (didn't) have you on the links section of my blog, but you are on there now! You have another fan!
    Jemima Jones Beck

  • At 8:32 PM, Blogger Seadra & Zoe said…

    Hey Norman!! Our Mom loves the earths organ pictures, but you are right, it looks scary to us!! We'll be staying away from caves. Thanks for the warning.

    Love, Seadra and Zoe

  • At 4:20 AM, Blogger Ronin_The_Pug said…

    Oh boy, oh boy!!! Look at those organs! Well, you are very smart Norman... I had no idea about the Earth's anatomy...
    Thanx because you didn't erase my link... my human didn't help me update my blog for over a week! grrrr!!!

  • At 11:01 AM, Blogger Clover said…

    Aaaah!! That is creepy looking! I visited some caves last weekend in Ontario, but they just looked like regular old rocks. Not like the bowels of the Earth.

    Love Clover xo


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