Dear Canadaland

How does your mail be so s-l-o-w? I know you are your own separate country and all, but seriously, we're geographically tickling up against your soft underbelly from sea to shining sea. It's not like the mail has to fly across an ocean or take some sort of chunnel to reach its destination. How can it take so long to deliver a package sent from North Carolina? We even accept your quarters and pennies as our own legal tender (except some of those damn picky vending machines that spit the change out no matter how many times I put it in there)! Please deliver Lmizzle and Christine their Pay It Forward gifts. I have some really cute pictures of me modeling the gifts that I am absolutely dying to share with the world, and I cannot do that until Canada Post (ie; Postes Canada, ie; Crazy Frenchies) gets its butt in gear. Hurry the pug up!