Free for All

The People left the house yesterday morning, like they do every Sunday morning, and told me they would be back around 5pm. That's a little longer than they are usually at church, but Woman mentioned something about "rafting" so I didn't think much of it. 5pm came and went, and as 7pm was approaching I started to get annoyed. I should definitely be snuggling Woman on the couch by 7pm, so I took a poop in the middle of the floor to show my discontent. That'll teach her when she walks in the door in a couple of minutes. A couple of minutes turned into a couple of hours, and 9pm was upon Hootie and me. Hootie had a great plan to get back at Woman for the long wait - I took the pillows off the little couch and whizzed on one of them! HAHAHAHAHA! I decided to sacrifice one item in the house for every additional hour I had to wait. Then I took a nap, and when I woke up, I forgot about my plan. The People finally came trotting in the door around 11pm. Can you believe that? They left me home alone for 12 days!!! All by myself, with only Hootie to keep me company. I was glad to see them, but I'm still a little ticked.

Woman said the rafting didn't go as smoothly as possible and they were unavoidably delayed. Whatever Woman. Whatever ...